Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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