Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
