i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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