I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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