I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
