escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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