I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
