Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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