You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
