There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
