ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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