I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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