For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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