You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
