She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
