Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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