At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
