I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
