it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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