He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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