i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
