Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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