i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
