scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
