when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize