Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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