Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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