Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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