So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
