Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
