Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
