Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
