...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
