i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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