She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
