you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
