I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
