It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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