you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
