Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
