Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
