Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
