u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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