Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
