It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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