Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
