I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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