I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
