I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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