i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
